Whistle
by WriteOnForever
Summary: Bart and Garfield try to figure out the meaning of a song. Tim somehow gets roped into the most awkward discussion of his life.


T for sexual implications and sorta-kinda-explanations

AN: Be careful looking up stuff on the Internet. Don't know the meaning of a word? Dictionary. The websites referenced in this piece may or may not exist—I didn't check.

Disclaimer: Things which are recognizable are not mine.

Whistle

Ever since coming to the past, Bart's senses have been in constant overload, struggling to absorb all the wonder around him. Taste has been the most expanded—there's so much food, all the time, and it isn't coated in ash or dirt—but sound is a close second. After the Reach apocalypse, all "meat entertainment" had been eliminated, burned in mass bonfires. That had included music.

It was Garfield who had introduced Bart to this amazing thing, offering him a headphone to his "iPod" while at breakfast. The beauty held within it, the power and the emotions behind it, had struck him to his core. When he asked how he could listen to some on his own, muttering some excuse about differences in the future, the shape-shifter smiled brightly and told him about "iTunes," where he could find all the "songs" he could want.

He's been at the computer for the past five hours, clicking through the available list.

Deprived of this in his life, he's making up for lost time. To make sure he misses nothing, he jumps around after every couple of songs so he can get music from previous years. He's just stumbled upon 2012 when he chooses "Whistle," by Flo Rida.

Although he can hear the words perfectly, he has no idea what they mean. That doesn't make him like the song any less, though, so he plays it again. And again. And again. By the time it's on its sixth repeat, Garfield approaches him, his tutoring complete for the day.

"You still on iTunes?"

"Music is way more stiff in my time," he lies, tapping to the beat. "This stuff is so much better."

"Noted." Paying attention for the first time, he exclaims, "Dude! I used to love this song when it first came out. I haven't heard it in forever."

"Do you know what it means?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, it's about whistling, obviously, but I don't get anything else. What kind of whistle does he need her to blow?"

"I never really paid attention to the lyrics," Garfield admits. "I just liked the chorus." Snapping his fingers, he says, "We can just look it up."

"We can?"

"Sure." Nudging him a bit, Garfield maneuvers himself in front of the keyboard and brings up Google. "What does 'Whistle' by Flo Rida mean?" he mumbles as he types it.

The list pops up, and he clicks the first link. They read quietly before glancing at one another.

"I don't know what that is." Bart points to a word on the screen. "Do you?"

"No. It sounds really fancy, though." Highlighting and copying it, he exits the site and pastes it into the search engine. The first option is Wikipedia, which he immediately opens.

The boys read the article, heads slowly tilting to the side as the information sinks in.

"This…is a real thing?" Bart asks.

"I…I guess so," Garfield murmurs, scrolling down so he won't have to see the images. "I mean, it has to be."

"But why? It doesn't seem very fun, especially for the girl." The thought makes him gag slightly. "Yuck. People _do _this?"

Garfield scratches his head. "I don't get it. I mean, I get what it _is_, but…why?"

"And how did they even think of this?" Throwing his arms out to the side for emphasis, Bart continues, "No one in their right mind would just assume this would be a good idea. If anything, this would be the worst idea on the planet!"

"True. Maybe it's left over from animalist instincts? Like how animals clean themselves?"

"But then wouldn't guys just do it to themse—"

"What are you two doing?!"

Both turn around to see Robin, mouth slightly slacked as he stares at the computer screen.

"Hey, T—er, Robin." Bart flashes a smile. "We were looking up the meaning to a song."

"_That _is not a song," the older teen protests.

"Well, duh. But this is what the song's about."

"Get out of it."

"What?" Garfield questions.

"Get out of it right now."

"How come?"

"How come? Guys, you cannot just look up stuff like this! Do you know where it could take you?"

Observing their blank looks, the Boy Wonder sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. "It's inappropriate and could lead to inappropriate things."

"Like what?" Bart asks.

Covering his face with his hand, Robin mumbles, "Do you know what sex is?"

"I lived at an animal sanctuary for most of my life," Garfield reminds him, slightly insulted by the question.

"I'm from the future, not a different planet," Bart adds.

"Okay, well, searching for something like _that_ could lead you to people...participating in…relations."

The news takes a while to hit them, but when it does, their faces contort into a mixture of horror and disbelief.

"You can look up people having _sex_?" Bart gasps.

"Don't scream!" Robin practically shrieks, whipping his head from side to side, as though he expects someone to be listening.

"Why would you want to do that?" Garfield asks.

Face reddening at the question, Robin stammers, "Er, well, erm, some, some people find it…so, um, it can be…for a certain group of people, it interests them."

"Are they researching it or something?"

"Not, not that kind of interest. It…it… you know, it doesn't matter. The point is, don't do it."

"How come you know all this?" Bart leans back to his full-height, as though he's analyzing the other teen. "Have you—"

"No, no, no, no, no!" Crimson stains his cheeks. "I learned it in school."

"You learn_ this _in school!"

"No! The other kids, they talk, and—forget it! Just never, ever look up stuff like this again." Rubbing at his temples, he walks to the computer and starts playing around with it. "You are so lucky I came a little early for training, or you'd have a lot to explain to Nightwing."

With a flourish, he hits the enter button. Suddenly, a bunch of red cartoon Nightwings appear on the screen, followed by ATTEMPTED HISTORY DELETION.

"Was that supposed to happen?" Garfield inquires.

"No!" Robin tries to correct the situation, but the screen is frozen. With a groan, he grumbles, "This could not get any worse."

"Hey, guys."

Their leader's voice surprises them all, and they whirl around to see Nightwing, a smirk on his face.

"N-N-Nightwing," Robin stammers, standing on his tip-toes as though trying to block his vision.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?"

Bart takes the initiative and launches into an explanation: "See, I was listening to this song and I didn't know what it meant so Garfield and I looked it up and then Robin came in and started freaking out. Did you know you can watch people have sex?"

Chuckling, the Blüdhaven hero returns, "Heard that before." Turning to the youngest Bat, he asks, "You told them that, I'm guessing?"

"Please, can we just pretend none of this ever happened?"

"I guess I can overlook it. But when Batman gets back, I'm sure that will be a very interesting conversation."

Robin whines in embarrassment. "But you know I don't do stuff like that!"

"Well, since you clearly have knowledge of deleting histories—"

"Nightwing!"

"Calm down; I'm just teasing." Focusing on the computer, he overrides the system. The Nightwings turn green and disappear, and the screen unfreezes, allowing him to close the site.

"Nightwing? Are we in trouble?" Bart asks quietly.

"'Course not—not like you purposefully did anything wrong. Just…be a little more wary, okay?"

"Okay."

"Noted."

He starts walking toward the training arena, and the three boys follow suit. Without glancing back, he adds, "Robin, if you need to take a cold shower before we start, go ahead."

Bart and Garfield just look while their friend face-palms.


End file.
